After Isya

Hey you, a nagging feeling in the corner of my heart, I know you.

You always come unexpectedly, suddenly, when I thought everything is going to be okay.

And you show up abruptly and whispering evil that the sun is not bright and things wont be right.

And you keep me worrying. And you keep me feeling blue.

Turn what once was a perfectly mundane day into a dull one.

Without even a particular reason.

You're like a nasty spell that was cast upon me by invisibility.

And escaping you is a wishful thinking.

I am not magical. I can't vanish you in a blink of an eye.

I need the help of time.

But time never wait for no one.

And here I am hoping, that you would kindly go away.

Night Armour

The rain hasn't stopped falling since morning. Now it's 10 pm and the air feels damp and cold. Just how I like it. I figured it might be the right time to continue reading my Sherlock Holmes novel but football players videos distracted me. I am pretty much football deprived. Blame the International Break. I miss watching David Silva in sky-blue jersey weasels his way among midfielders and defenders to give assists to any strikers in another sky-blue jersey. In short, I miss watching Manchester City play.

It feels somewhat sinful writing that sentence considering the fact I was (am?) a Manchester United fan for as long as I could remember. And then I found Man City's Youtube channel, and all hell broke loose.

Now it's 10 pm and I'm alone in my room with light turned off. The darkness, the cold air, me and laptop doing my own thing, it almost feels like a meditation, a recharge for a tired introvert.

For the lonesome heart.

For the worried mind.

For the angry perfectionist.

For the friendly shy Ravenclaw.

Let the night eat my troubles away.

I will be here hiding in its dark comfort.

Knitting stories, creating magic.

Drown in the majesty of my own little universe.

And today I still let my hair grow long.

And The World Has Turned To A Different Beat

"When the world has fallen in to quiet and my words escape me, I've got you to bring a dash of sound to my otherwise deafening silence."

Dear Friend...

Today I cried again remembering you.
I googled your name and came across blog entries that talked about you.
Talked about your extraordinary achievements, your natural leadership, your smart eyes, your kind soul.

Talked about your life...

And talked about your death.

Your graceful death.

Then there it was, your picture whom I had not seen for almost 10 years.
And it hit me, the so ever flowing emotions. Wave and wave of raw emotions.
My tears came rolling down from the lost, sadness and envy.
The feelings were so jumbled, yet I felt hollow.

You and your triumph.
And suddenly all the things that were precious to me look mundane to compared to.
Suddenly, nothing really matters anymore.

What matter is how I can have the happy ending, like you.

Jangan pernah engkau mengira mereka mati, karena sesunggguhnya mereka hidup di sisi Rabb-nya...